BICK: บางครั้ง คนดีๆ อย่างเรา คนที่ไม่มีเจตนาร้ายกับใครอย่างเรา คนที่ระมัดระวังอะไรต่อมิอะไรเสมออย่างเรา ที่จะไม่ทำให้คนอื่นเดือดร้อน เช่น เวลาขับรถก็ขับอยู่ในเลนของตัวเอง ไม่ขับเร็วเกินไป ไม่ขับสวี้ดสว้าด แต่ก็ยังมีโอกาสที่ รถคันอื่นที่ไม่ระวังอย่างเราระวัง จะมาชนเราได้เหมือนกัน Good people เหล่านั้น บางทีพยายามที่สุดแล้ว แต่ก็ยังเกิดความซวยขึ้น ถ้าคนเหล่านั้นเป็นเพื่อนเรา เราก็อาจจะอยากพูดอะไรให้พวกเขารู้สึกดีขึ้น คือถ้าไม่ใช่ good people หรือไม่ใช่เพื่อนของเรา ไม่ใช่คนที่เราแคร์ เราก็คงเลือกที่จะไม่พูดอะไรเลยดีกว่า
BICK: สมมติเหตุการณ์ง่ายและใกล้ตัวที่สุดสำหรับคนยุคนี้ มือถือหาย (BEAU: เหมือนอวัยวะส่วนหนึ่งหายไปเลยนะคะ) ถูกต้อง สมมติเพื่อนเดินหน้ามึนเข้ามาทำเสียงหงิงๆ แล้วบอกว่า เพิ่งทำมือถือหายเป็นเครื่องที่สองของปีนี้ “I lost my phone for the second time this year” บางคนเป็นโรคนี้นะ ทำของหายก็หายอยู่นั่น ทำของเจ๊งก็เจ๊งอยู่นั่น เป็นโบจะพูดอะไรกับเพื่อนยังไง
BEAU: I would say “Aw that sucks” I would probably try to help her backtrack it a little bit. Where did you lose it? When did you lose it? Have you called around? Have you asked people around there? And I would probably ask her if she uses ‘Find My iPhone’ if she uses an Apple device. If she has that app installed, let’s go look for it. Because it will show you where it was last seen or where it is right now if it’s not turned off. Worse comes to worst if we can’t find it I’d be like, make sure you delete all your data and change all the passwords especially all the banking stuff. Just to be precautious. Erase everything so they can’t get the confidential information, photos or videos. Then I’ll say, let’s go shopping and get you a new phone.
FIAT: For me sometimes when that happened they blame themselves. So I’ll try to cheer them up first. The solution will come later. I’ll ask them if they’ve check all the financial stuff or if they’ve called the police. When you lose the phone these days it’s like you lose your identity too. People can actually log on to your Facebook and start borrowing money from friends on your contact list, maybe hack your ig, especially if you have a lot of followers. Some people might have some video clips on their phone, even though it’s not their own, or even the chat logs. They could cause so much drama. And since this is the second time they lost their phone, maybe they’re being mindless for some reason, maybe justs broke up with the boyfriend, maybe just got sacked from the job. Maybe it’s not lost, it’s stolen. There was a case at my office, nothing has ever been lost, but one day a phone was losts. It turned out it was an intern. He looked very well off like a nice boy from a good family, too. (BICK: we never know. BEAU: Yeah it’s like a Winona Ryder syndrome) (Kleptomania or Shoplifting syndrome) Yeah she likes the excitement from stealing.
BEAU: You know what else I would do? I just remembered something there’s a new type of device like a chip-looking thing that you can attach to your key or your phone or your car! It’s like a GPS thing like Find My iPhone app. You can track it down even if the person turns off your phone you can find it. I’d probably go out and get my friend this device as a present.
BICK: I might say I’ve got an old phone I’m not using. If you want a loaner for the time being you can use mine.
FIAT: I would say, you know, let me pitch in something like a few thousand baht for your birthday gift. That way every time you use the phone you’d think of me.
Let me pitch in something
like a few thousand baht for your birthday gift.
That way every time you use the phone
you’d think of me.
BICK: กรณีต่อไป “My laptop broke. I lost all of my work and it’s not retrievable either”
BEAU:This had happened to me before, recently, too. It was completely my fault. I had an external hard disk. I had everything in it, like, my entire life. My photos, my videos, all my series! My music, everything was in there. I normally have 2 externals, one just to plug into my smart TV to watch my series, the other one, the larger one, just to store everything. On the day that happened I was gonna watch Schindler’s Lists which was on the larger hard disk. So I plugged that into the TV and sort of left it there for, like, a few months. Next thing I know when I plugged it back into my computer I could not see any files. I called someone and they said it changed the file type into the TV type or something. I think someone could restore it but it’s gonna cost me, like, 8,000 baht. So I said I’m gonna calm down and I’m gonna wait a little bit. So, no matter what anyone say to me, I was not gonna feel better. That’s my entire life! I think what I want back the most was my photos (FIAT: Because they’re memories) Yeah. And for some of those I was gonna wait for my new house to finish and I was gonna make copies and I was gonna make a scrapbook. Today we don’t get to print out any of our pictures anymore. We just shove it in our phone. That was gonna be my next project. And still to this day I haven’t done anything about it because it costs so much money. They’d have to look at what I have on there, like, what type of files they are, what they need to recover, or if they can. (BICK: You know, just put it on hold for now. Maybe in the future the technology might cost a lot less. It might get cheaper.) Yeah, so in this situation I would just want my friend to be there and listen to me bitch about it.
FIAT: We couldn’t change it now, right? We cannot change the past. So let’s focus on the now. What do we need to do? Like if we need to submit the assignment tomorrow and you have been typing everything 24hour for the last 7 days, list them down now. What can you remember? (BICK: Do this now and whine later) Yeah, we can’t change the past. So focus on the present. Now. Now. Now.
We cannot change the past.
So let’s focus on the now.
BICK: I would ask them to check their cloud. Because this happened to my friend before and all the work is, like, automatically uploaded to the cloud without him knowing. And he found out later and he was, like, oh my God, it’s still there! It’s on the cloud now.
FIAT: My friend’s boyfriend actually linked all of my friend’s device to the cloud. So whenever he takes pictures of anything (BICK: oh, I can see where this is going already…) so it’s like, okay just go wherever you want, I’m at home watching the screen.
BICK: Okay, next scenario. “I just got into a hit and run!” โดนคนเฉี่ยวชนแล้วหนีไป
FIAT: If the person say it right after the situation and call me I might say, “Oh my holy Lord! Are you safe dear?” (BICK: So you’re trying to lighten up the mood?) If they call, whether in a panic mode or they just want a mind security, showing that you’re concerned is good, but don’t make it sound too panicky. Just a general check up, like, are you safe? Are you okay? Where are you? Are you alone? Has the insurance person come yet? Is there a cop there? How is the situation? Where is this? Do you need me now? If you do, I’ll go right there.
BEAU: For me, if it was later, I’d probably say, it’s okay, it’s beyond your control. You couldn’t help it. I’m sure you were careful. If you want your reimbursement let’s call your insurance. Let’s go to the police and file a report. And maybe ask to see any security camera. Maybe we can get your money back for your car to be fixed. Believe it or not, I was once hit by a car twice in the same day. My car, not me. The morning part my car was parked in the parking lot and it got hit. And in the second part of the day I was driving and someone rear-ended me. (FIAT: You were like a car magnet) The second time someone hit me I was seriously bawling, like, “Why me! What did I do!” What I probably wanna hear, this is exactly what one of my fans has said it to me, she goes, “ไปโดนอะไรมา”, and I was like, “มีคนมาชน”, and she goes, “ไม่เป็นไรนะน้อง ไม่ต้องห่วงนะ รถน่ะมีไว้ขับ” and I was like, you’re right! รถมีไว้ขับ จะมีใครมาชนก็ช่างมันเถอะ เดี๋ยวก็ซ่อมได้ and that’s what I would tell my friend, like, it’s okay, we can fix it. Your insurance would take care of it. It’ll be back to being brand new in no time. Don’t worry.
ไม่เป็นไรนะน้อง ไม่ต้องห่วงนะ รถน่ะมีไว้ขับ
FIAT: Right. As long as you’re safe. But to the car lovers, they’d be devastated. Maybe they collect cars. Maybe they have some memories with the cars. (BICK: yeah, it hurt them emotionally too) (BEAU:What would you say, P Bick)
BICK: พี่อาจจะพูดในสิ่งที่ ยังไม่เคยได้ยิน English equivalent. นั่นคือ “เอาน่า ฟาดเคราะห์ๆๆ” Bad thing happened to you. Fine. It did. But also good thing can happen afterward. So maybe next one is a good thing. Just leave it to the past. It’s done. It happened. What can you do about it?
BEAU: And I think when we’re in that kind of situation, all we wanna hear is just a good positive thoughts, like, “You’re gonna be okay” or “Good things are gonna come after” even though deep down you know it’s not true but it somewhat it consoles you a little bit. It keeps you hopeful. เหมือนมีกำลังใจ
FIAT: แต่เคยได้ยินเหมือนกันว่า “What else can happen when you hit the rock bottom?”(มันจะมีอะไรเลวร้ายไปกว่านี้ได้อีกเหรอ) I’d say, “Oh, this is not the rock bottom yet, we’re still falling” (BEAU: Oh no! The worst is yet to come! ยังมีที่แย่กว่านี้ได้อีก!)
เรื่องเล่าจีนโบราณ ‘มันอาจจะดี หรืออาจจะแย่ก็ได้’
FIAT: There’s a tale, a Chinese story. There’s one family. They have horse. One day one of the horses ran away. Everyone was saying, “Oh, this is so bad. We lost our horse.” The old man of the house said, “Who knows. It might be good. It might be bad”
And then, one day that horse came back, with another horse! ไปชวนเพื่อนมา! Then everyone was like, “Oh! Your horse is so good! You’re gonna be luck!” And the old man of the house once again said, “This might be good This might be bad. Who knows?”
One day, the boy of the house, who was actually a teenager about to be a grownup man, was riding the new horse that came back with the old one. He fell off and broke his leg. ชาวบ้านบอกอีก “ตายแล้ว ซวยแล้วๆๆ ขาหักๆๆ” And the old man of the house once again said, “This might be good This might be bad. Who knows?”
Then the military came. All the young men was drafted into the army to be soldiers. Since the boy of the house had a broken leg, he didn’t get drafted! Now, again, everybody was like, “You’re so lucky! So lucky!” And once again the old man of the house said, “This might be good This might be bad. Who knows?”
All I’m saying is that, whenever anything happens to you, don’t just that it’s bad or it’s good because you don’t know that for sure just yet. The best is to take hold of the situation.
เคยมีคนมาบ่นว่า วันนี้อะไรก็แย่ไปหมดทุกอย่าง It’s the worst day of my life! เฟี้ยตบอกว่า actually the worst day of your life is the day you lose control. Whether it’s good or bad. When good things come into your life but you’re not ready and you miss the opportunity. Don’t you think that’s even worse? Even if the situation is bad but you still have the ability to control your mind or control the situation and hold up yourself so good. That might not be a bad day at all.
It might be good.
It might be bad
BICK: Next scenario, แห้วงาน อาจจะเป็นงานที่หมายไว้ ที่ไปสมัครด้วยความมั่นใจว่าต้องได้แน่ๆ เราเหมาะที่สุด I’m the best guy for the job and I’m confident that I’ll get it. But it turned out you didn’t get the job. So your friend might go to you and say, “I just got the call and it turned out that I didn’t get the job I wanted”
BEAU: I think this is a tough one because our friend might probably be emotional especially if she was confident from the beginning. By you not getting this job doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for it. It just means maybe they like someone better or click better with someone else (BICK: Is not about your qualification but is about chemistry Or something) yeah don’t take it personally And keep trying because you know You’re not going through this alone. a lot of people Are going through the same thing. a lot of people are not working. Especially in America, and actually in Thailand too. It’s really hard to find a job right now so keep trying. And if you need help going through your resume, your personal statement, or anything like that, Or if you want a mock interview I would be glad to help you. it might make you less nervous Next time you go. not saying that She didn’t get the job because she was nervous But they just want to help prepare you (BICK: boosting her confidence)
By you not getting this job
doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for it.
FIAT: I would say it’s about the right fit. This actually happened to me. My friend got turned down for a few jobs. His financial situation was not that bad but I guess it hurt his ego. I guess he felt like he was not worthy. So I would try to joke about it. I would say you don’t want to work with people who don’t want to work with you. When I was in the University I actually went to an audition for The Lion King. I didn’t get it. It was for the Thai Voice version. But later I got a job at Warner Brothers. It was the movie Space Jam. Well, you know, Disney prefers celebrities. No matter how good you are, no matter how good to sing. But for Warner Brothers they would want the voice that resembles the original the most. And I got to be one of the monsters! That was hilarious! Anyway, If they don’t see you as the right fit for the organization, you just move on.
BICK: Next scenario, โดนเจ้านายด่า “I just got yelled at at work”
BEAU: She might just want to talk shit about her boss with me, I’m pretty sure of it, which, I’m there. I think she probably would want to vent more than listen to me talk, like, If this was in college or if this was my close friend Then I will be like let’s have a sleepover. Let’s have a girls night in And watch movie. or if you want to go out, we could go out. Then I will cheer her up, like, you know, don’t take it personally. I’m sure your boss was just like in the moment and he was just mad. But if there’s anything you can fix maybe you can reflect on it a little bit and fix it for the future. If not then let’s have a girls night and maybe trash talk your boss.
BICK: Actually I would say, like, let’s go get a drink. I’m buying. Because like you said probably that’s all they want anyway. แล้วถ้าเกิดหนักกว่านั้นคือไม่ใช่แค่โดนด่าแต่โดนไล่ออก “I’ve been sacked!” “I was just fired!” What would you say to a friend who just got fired?
FIAT: I’m sure he’ll lose the self confidence and probably embarrassed too. (BICK: Would you ask them, in detail, what happened?)
BEAU: Depends on how close we are. For me whenever I talk to my friend, Even if it’s about break up or maybe about getting fired, I would ask them first, is it okay to ask about it? If they said, yes, I want to talk about it, then I’ll ask more detail. But if she said, no I don’t feel comfortable talking about it, then I won’t bug her for a detail.
FIAT: Sometimes talking in detail is like going back to the past and take a knife then keep stabbing yourself. (BICK: Basically you just force them to go back and relive the situation) (BEAU: “Oh how’s your break up?” “I was okay until now!” *cry so hard*) Actually I won’t ask anything I would say let’s go celebrate!
BICK: Or maybe sometimes I might ask, if I know for a fact That he or she is not into their job anyway. And maybe they’re upset because they’re embarrassed or they got angry because they were practically rejected. Is that not the job that they really like, I will tell them that take this as an opportunity to find you a new job that you really care about. เพราะบางคนเป็นอย่างนี้จริงๆ นะ คือพอโดนปฏิเสธก็เจ็บ อาย แต่จริงๆ แล้วเราก็ไม่ได้อินกับงานนี้เท่าไหร่ไม่ใช่หรือ เพราะฉะนั้นก็ อ้ะ ไหนๆ ก็โดนไล่ออกแล้ว ก็มาเริ่มกันใหม่เลยแล้วกัน
FIAT: I think it’s about the right fit. ถ้าเราอยู่ในที่ของเราจริงๆ We don’t have to pretend anything at all.
BICK: Next scenario, สมมติไปประกวดอะไรสักอย่าง เช่นไปเอเอฟแล้วตกรอบ อันนี้ถามโบไม่ได้มั้งเพราะโบสมัครแล้วได้เลย
BEAU: ก๊อพอดีบั่บว่า ไม่เคยแพ้อ่ะข่า แหม น่าหมั่นไส้มาก I would just say that you did your best and that was just a part of the competition. And you knew that going in that not everyone can make it. I know you’re bummed right now but it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. Maybe you’re just not what they’re looking for right now. Will you should try to keep pursuing your dream. But don’t stop and don’t let just one person or a bunch of people tell you no. Don’t take no for an answer. Strive for your dream. I did. I took actions into my own hands. I went out and attempt everything on my own. And you know sometimes it takes a few rejections before you succeed. And let me know if you need any help. I will prepare you for it. I’m all in. I could be a judge for you, I could be an audience for you, or I could be a critic for you. Just let me know if I could do anything to help but don’t give up your dreams. Just keep on trying.
I know you’re bummed right now
but it doesn’t mean
you’re not good enough.
FIAT: Right. I would do the same thing and I will tell my friend never lose your passion. Just like Steve Jobs. He got rejected over and over, but he kept his determination. He was passionate and he knew what he was doing. So stay hungry and do what you believe in. A lot of times winning doesn’t help you secure a good future. There’s a lot of factors. But anyway you have to focus on what you really love and what you really like. I would tell my friend that the thing that you do is amazing because You put your heart and your insecurities out on the line, Does having the guts and that’s something I don’t even have. And you’re brave. In real life when you stumble the real winner is the one who always gets up every time.
BICK: Okay actually I was going to say the same thing Because I myself almost never enter any competition in my whole life so I’m I said to them that I admire you I guess you at least put yourself out there and at least you tried something. So no matter what happens, no matter what the result is, you have learned something. At least you’ve learned something about yourself. Actually I think this thing is pretty good. If you keep losing and you keep losing and then one day you win, that way you’ll have a great story to tell. It’s not like on your first try you succeed, there’s no fun in that! There’s no story in that!
BEAU: And it’s the same thing with AF, you know Nutthew. He actually came from AF4 and he didn’t even make it. And then he came back to AF5 and he won the whole thing and became the winner! So there you go. That’s a slap in everyone’s face. That’s a triumph story. I would definitely tell this story to my friend like, see, you have to keep on going and come back. You didn’t get it one year doesn’t mean that you won’t get it next year or next time.
FIAT: We cannot control life. We cannot control the storm, we cannot control the wind but we can control the tail of our boat.
BICK: For me I would say there’s no rule because it totally depends on the person. So really try to empathize and really think about what they actually want first. Don’t just say something because you think it would be the wise thing to say. And sometimes you say it best when you say nothing at all. Or sometimes just a hug is enough.
BEAU: Or maybe if you don’t have anyone to listen to you, just email us at [email protected], and we’ll listen to you. And if any of you listen you’re out there have any suggestions, You’re welcome to leave us a message on Twitter, our handle is @whatdoyousaybtw
We cannot control life.
We cannot control the storm,
we cannot control the wind
but we can control the tail of our boat.